I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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