I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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