i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
