she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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