Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
