I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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