my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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