I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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