I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
