very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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