We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
