I've blown a few things in my day
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize