I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
