IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
