Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize