he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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