we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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