my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize