It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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