Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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