u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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