hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
