Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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