you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
