Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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