U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize