is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
