Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
