Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
