please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
