i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize