And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
