Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize