let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
