how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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