and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
