drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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