I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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