I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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