Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
