i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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