I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize