take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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