ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
