i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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