forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
