We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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