Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
