Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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