what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
