Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
