This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
