So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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