Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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