And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
