sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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