Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
