What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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