Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
