He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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