We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize