Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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