I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My liver just had a heart attack.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize