I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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