I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
