just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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