i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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