Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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