he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
