I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Text me some of your sweat
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
