I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's rum buckets o'clock
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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