dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
