4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
