Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
